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Happy Birthday Chuck Norris

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Happy Birthday Chuck Norris

Post  rasskul on Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:20 am

Some babies are born head first....others feet first...but only one was born beard first. 68 years ago today in Oklahoma a legend was born. Carlos Ray Norris was once a shy, non-athletic boy, who was often tormented by his classmates for his mixed native-American heritage, but he used his lust for revenge to help him become the most powerful being on the face of the earth.

As an Air Policeman (I'd assume just flying round and arresting people) in the US Air Force he would earn the nickname Chuck and started studying the martial arts so hard that he had to create his own - Chun Kuk Do - because nothing else was good enough. Actor, ass kicker, inventor of the roundhouse kick, and star of the Atari 2600 game Chuck Norris Superkicks, without Chuck's influence the video game industry would just be a bunch of cutesy pet sims. Let it ring across the interwebs on every server - Happy Birthday Chuck Norris! He might be 68-years-old, but he could still kick all of our asses at once without even blinking.


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Re: Happy Birthday Chuck Norris

Post  R3APR on Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:01 am

"God was sick of Chuck Norris in heaven, so he sent himself to earth as Jesus. It took Chuck Norris 37 years to find Jesus, but when God heard that Chuck was on earth, he quickly ask people to crucify him, just to get away. Ever since then Chuck Norris could not be killed cos of his roundhouse kicks, but he DOES let his presence be known."

"God knew it was going to be impossible to build the world in 7 days, but Chuck Norris thought it could. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked God so many times that God actually did it in 6 days, but was unconscious on the 7th day."


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